paru parong lumilipad
gabayan mo ako sa aking pupuntahan
malayo man ang marating
bastat kasama kita sa buong magdamag
mga bituin sa kalangitan
gabayan niyo ako sa aking dadaanan
malayo man at madilim
bastat kasama kita sa aking tatahakin
patungo na sayo
patungo na sayo
patungo na sayo aking mahal
paru parong lumilipad
gabayan mo ako
sa aking pupuntahan
malayo man ang marating
bastat kasama kita sa buong magdamag
patungo na sayo
patungo na sayo
patungo na sayo aking mahal
aking mahal paalam na
gagabayan kita sa iyong pupuntahan
malayo ka man sa akin
bastat ikaw lang ang mamahalin
May 01, 2013
April 15, 2013
Birth control pills are not my thing... at least for now
Yeah I don't wanna use it and I will never use it. But when I get older and have kids already then I might but for now, the 19 me won't even be doing any sex. The reason why I suddenly opened this kind of topic is that someone told me to take pills already. That person asked me if I had a boyfriend and told me that safe sex should be considered for teenagers like me. It was weird though because if I wanted sex advice, I'd want to hear it from someone close to me. Not someone whom I just saw or met or had eye-to-eye contact just minutes ago. I know that she's a parent and all and had a kid and what not but let my parents do the talking for my sake. I am well capable of knowing the wrong from the right and telling me that I will have sex soon is just wrong. I am also a Christian and I am well aware of what the bible says regarding the matter. It has been days already since the incident and I just could not stop remembering that moment. It kinda traumatized me and probably scarred me. I felt humiliated and I whenever I remember it, I still feel humiliated. what's cool though is how my parents reacted to the story. My mom just laughed and my dad just went silent (he's probably thinking of something to say but didn't brought it up). Anyways If this has happened or will happen to you or even if its not the same situation but a situation close to it. This is what I advice you to do.
1. Listen
its probably the best thing to do in a situation like that. Just listen to what they're saying and keep quiet. It's better to be the more mature one even if you're talking to someone more older than you. Keep your thoughts to yourself especially the negative ones
2. Speak up
Yes, after listening speak up. Speak out your thoughts and incites to the matter but be careful with the words you are about to say. It is better to filter your words first before speaking. By doing so your not adding oil into the fire but actually trying to extinguish it.
3. Look at it in a different perspective
look at the perspective of the person telling you absurd things. They probably had an incident before or they themselves got into that situation and just wanted to mess up another's life. Think positive. Always look at the bright side of things. At least someone told me to be safe with sex or someone proved to me that I know the right from wrong. :P
4. Share it
Tell the story to someone you're comfortable with. Don't solve things on your own. Sometimes a little help won't hurt any body. I've tried keeping things to myself before and I got the hang of it. But most of the time I want to tell my friends about it because I know that their comfort will give me the reasurrance that I need that everything will be alright.
5. Smile
just smile at the situation. That's what I did actually. You may look like a crazy person smiling in a situation like that but really it makes you more respectful and mature. Or better yet don't let people see your mad expressions. Give them a poker face or a serious face so that they'd think that you're listening to every bit of what they're saying when in fact you just want to smack them hard in the face.
So yeah... those are just my 5 tips on dealing with humiliation. You can use it with friends, family, or any stranger that thinks they're better than those close to you. Keep in mind that these tips don't always work for everybody and some of them aren't easy to do. But practice makes permanent and the more you see better things and keep things positive, the more you'll learn how to reverse and survive any bad situation you might be in. :)
1. Listen
its probably the best thing to do in a situation like that. Just listen to what they're saying and keep quiet. It's better to be the more mature one even if you're talking to someone more older than you. Keep your thoughts to yourself especially the negative ones
2. Speak up
Yes, after listening speak up. Speak out your thoughts and incites to the matter but be careful with the words you are about to say. It is better to filter your words first before speaking. By doing so your not adding oil into the fire but actually trying to extinguish it.
3. Look at it in a different perspective
look at the perspective of the person telling you absurd things. They probably had an incident before or they themselves got into that situation and just wanted to mess up another's life. Think positive. Always look at the bright side of things. At least someone told me to be safe with sex or someone proved to me that I know the right from wrong. :P
4. Share it
Tell the story to someone you're comfortable with. Don't solve things on your own. Sometimes a little help won't hurt any body. I've tried keeping things to myself before and I got the hang of it. But most of the time I want to tell my friends about it because I know that their comfort will give me the reasurrance that I need that everything will be alright.
5. Smile
just smile at the situation. That's what I did actually. You may look like a crazy person smiling in a situation like that but really it makes you more respectful and mature. Or better yet don't let people see your mad expressions. Give them a poker face or a serious face so that they'd think that you're listening to every bit of what they're saying when in fact you just want to smack them hard in the face.
So yeah... those are just my 5 tips on dealing with humiliation. You can use it with friends, family, or any stranger that thinks they're better than those close to you. Keep in mind that these tips don't always work for everybody and some of them aren't easy to do. But practice makes permanent and the more you see better things and keep things positive, the more you'll learn how to reverse and survive any bad situation you might be in. :)
Salmon Diaries (the obsession for a pink fish)
If you have read my last blog you would know that I love Salmon. oh I'm sorry I don't love it. I'm OBSESSED by it. Really, I would kill someone for it. I love everything about it. I like its color, texture, it's "melt-in-your-mouth" sensation when you eat it, and the fact that you can eat from baked to raw is just amazing. I am the last person that you would want to cross just for a plate salmon Sashimi. I would blank out and forget we're friends if you steal my plate of Salmon. I mean, that's how obsessed I am with that glorious fish. It's one of those things that I really praise God for. I mean, really thank Him for creating such awesome swimming creature (ok... sounding a bit cuckoo there).
I never really liked salmon before and for my family it was a fish that we really can't eat because it's not common in the Philippines. We either it bangus (milk fish) or tilapia but never salmon. My dad once brought us to a Japanese restaurant called Saisaki and its actually a buffet of different variety's of Japanese food. That's where and when I tried my very first sashimi. But I only sticked to Tuna sashimi before because it's what my dad eats. Anyway I saw the salmon beside the Tuna sashimi and wondered what's that? (this is because me and my family were really adventurous with food that we would eat anything were not familiar with) my dad told me it's salmon. Alright here's the thing. I already tried salmon at that time because my dad ordered grilled salmon when we went to visit my aunt in California so I pretty much liked the fish already cooked. So I asked my dad if the salmon sashimi is good. He said it was slimy and really fishy. He also said I won't like it. So, trusting my dad I didn't take any. After that whenever we go to a Japanese restaurant I would always picture Salmon sashimi as really slimy kinda like a snail or whatever so we never ordered it.
until this one day when we went to a Japanese restaurant and tried a sushi with raw salmon on top. At first we thought its something we never tried before let's try it! and then the magic happened. I tasted for the very first time raw salmon. It was not really a fillet it was just chopped up salmon on top of a maki. It was really good so we ordered the real thing. A plate of the best quality Salmon Sashimi. ok, do you know that scene in movies when they do something for the very first time and sparkles and lights go everywhere and their eyes just flash lights. I think that happened to me. It was sooo good! It was so good that I blamed my dad why he didn't order it before. Thus my first argument about a fish. But really it was really really good. After that whenever we go to a Japanese restaurant we always always order Salmon Sashimi. We also stopped ordering Tuna sashimi because it's not really a favorite anymore. It's always two orders of Salmon sashimi for us.
so that's just one story about my obsession of Salmon. I will post another of my weird stories here. keep reading and stay beautiful. God bless you all!! :)
I never really liked salmon before and for my family it was a fish that we really can't eat because it's not common in the Philippines. We either it bangus (milk fish) or tilapia but never salmon. My dad once brought us to a Japanese restaurant called Saisaki and its actually a buffet of different variety's of Japanese food. That's where and when I tried my very first sashimi. But I only sticked to Tuna sashimi before because it's what my dad eats. Anyway I saw the salmon beside the Tuna sashimi and wondered what's that? (this is because me and my family were really adventurous with food that we would eat anything were not familiar with) my dad told me it's salmon. Alright here's the thing. I already tried salmon at that time because my dad ordered grilled salmon when we went to visit my aunt in California so I pretty much liked the fish already cooked. So I asked my dad if the salmon sashimi is good. He said it was slimy and really fishy. He also said I won't like it. So, trusting my dad I didn't take any. After that whenever we go to a Japanese restaurant I would always picture Salmon sashimi as really slimy kinda like a snail or whatever so we never ordered it.
until this one day when we went to a Japanese restaurant and tried a sushi with raw salmon on top. At first we thought its something we never tried before let's try it! and then the magic happened. I tasted for the very first time raw salmon. It was not really a fillet it was just chopped up salmon on top of a maki. It was really good so we ordered the real thing. A plate of the best quality Salmon Sashimi. ok, do you know that scene in movies when they do something for the very first time and sparkles and lights go everywhere and their eyes just flash lights. I think that happened to me. It was sooo good! It was so good that I blamed my dad why he didn't order it before. Thus my first argument about a fish. But really it was really really good. After that whenever we go to a Japanese restaurant we always always order Salmon Sashimi. We also stopped ordering Tuna sashimi because it's not really a favorite anymore. It's always two orders of Salmon sashimi for us.
so that's just one story about my obsession of Salmon. I will post another of my weird stories here. keep reading and stay beautiful. God bless you all!! :)
March 20, 2013
19 and wearing really big knickers
I am fat. like no kidding, I'm really fat. Ever since I was at kindergarten my weight was higher than the average kids back then. I was considered as obese at some point and made fun of because of my weight. I have been bullied by classmates, teachers, family, friends, even strangers. This is a hard topic for me because it's who I am. It's who I was, and I'ts probably still me in the future.
I am jealous. Like most fat people, I envy those who could eat and not get fat. Those skinny girls who could just eat whatever they want and then have no traces of fat afterwards. In all honesty I can only blame myself. But sometimes I blame those around me why I'm like this. Why they didn't control me, why they just let me be sedentary, why they just let the years go by and never really cared if I'm getting bigger than what I used to be.
I am self conscious. I hate my body. I hate everything in it. But I still love it. Is that possible? To hate and still love something? I still love my body because its still alive. It's still a part of me. But I hate how it looks. Maybe it is possible. I hate those stretch marks I have all over my body. I hate how I can't wear what I want to wear. I hate that I can't wear sleeveless when I get hot. I hate that I can't wear the swimsuits that I want to wear in the beach. I can't wear shorts without getting looks from other people. I can't find the right kind of pants that wouldn't give me a muffin top or love handles. I hate not being able to enjoy my youth because of these insecurities.
I am worthless. I can't play sports with friends or other people (or even try). Why? because I fear their remarks. I fear their criticism. I fear what they would say. I fear the uniform they will wear. I fear of how they'll tell me I'm the reason why I slowed them down or why they didn't win. Because I couldn't run like the others or I couldn't move as fast as them. So instead of playing I just sit there in the bleachers, day dreaming of how I would've been there and make things happen. I daydreamed. That's all I ever do.
I day dream.
February 17, 2013
Accepting yourself is hard. Accepting others is even harder.
Ok, first things first. You have to know who I am. This is actually hard because I have to think really hard who I really am. What I like, what I don't like, what I think I like but actually don't like... you know those kind of things so just bear with it. ok? So here we go...
10 THINGS ABOUT SANDY
1. I love to sing. I sing in church, in the shower, in my car, in my room, in karaoke party's, etc. I just love to sing. But, there are times when I don't want to sing. That's because a.) I probably have sore throat b.) I just don't feel like it and c.)I don't want to mess up the song. So yeah..
2. I love Salmon. Like I am not kidding. I LOVE SALMON. Everything done to that magnificent fish is just amazing to me. I eat it raw, cooked, steamed, baked, grilled, and whatever (as long as it is edible I'll eat it). I love it's color, it's texture, and of course that melt in your mouth taste! oh my... and I am known to fight people for it. I did it once with my sister and it did not end well.
3. I like the smell of grass in the morning. I know, I know, It's weird but really the smell is so awesome. Especially newly cut grass... oh my gosh... I also like the smell of newly painted walls. sniff sniff.
4. I like the rain. I love those little raindrops in the window. I love how it sounds. I love how the weather gets really cold. I love it's simplicity.
5. I like going to the beach. I like the sound of the waves, I like how the sand just buries underneath my feet, I like going to different places and just looking for the best beaches and resorts. Me and my family actually spends a lot of time going to different places just to try the beach there. I was actually scared of going to the beach before... I don't know what happened, I just changed maybe.
6. I hate hate hate lizards. Nuff said. Just the thought makes me cringe and uuuuuggggghhhh... I just hate them. >.<
7. I don't like watching song covers of people in the internet, particularly You Tube. To tell you the truth, I get really really jealous of them cause they are so amazing. That's why in order for me not to get insecure and feel bad about myself, I just try to not watch them. But to everyone out there that has a cover in You Tube. I applaud you! You are awesome. I just don't want to watch you sing.
8. I don't like talking to professors. It's not really my thing.This is probably because of an incident I had with a teacher... actually two teachers but whatever. I only talk to them when I need something or I am required to answer. I don't even like having eye contact with them. But you wanna know a secret? I want to be a teacher. How ironic and twisted is that?
9. I am observant. I can observe even the smallest of things. I have the record of finding hair in our food. It's disgusting I know, but yeah. Those things happen so stop being so "maarte".
10. I am an introvert. It's funny because I never knew that I was. I just realized when someone pointed it out to me. I am not a full pledge introvert though (cause that would be social suicide). I am the kind of person who prefers being at home than going out. But don't judge me yet, I like going out it's just that home is safer.
So did you read everything? That's not even the whole thing. I wanted to write everything but it's gonna be a long post so I just chose the top 10... well not really top but you get it.
If you want to know more just ask me anything, I'll try to answer them. Anyways I hope you read more of my posts. Till then. Ciao! :)
10 THINGS ABOUT SANDY
1. I love to sing. I sing in church, in the shower, in my car, in my room, in karaoke party's, etc. I just love to sing. But, there are times when I don't want to sing. That's because a.) I probably have sore throat b.) I just don't feel like it and c.)I don't want to mess up the song. So yeah..
2. I love Salmon. Like I am not kidding. I LOVE SALMON. Everything done to that magnificent fish is just amazing to me. I eat it raw, cooked, steamed, baked, grilled, and whatever (as long as it is edible I'll eat it). I love it's color, it's texture, and of course that melt in your mouth taste! oh my... and I am known to fight people for it. I did it once with my sister and it did not end well.
3. I like the smell of grass in the morning. I know, I know, It's weird but really the smell is so awesome. Especially newly cut grass... oh my gosh... I also like the smell of newly painted walls. sniff sniff.
4. I like the rain. I love those little raindrops in the window. I love how it sounds. I love how the weather gets really cold. I love it's simplicity.
5. I like going to the beach. I like the sound of the waves, I like how the sand just buries underneath my feet, I like going to different places and just looking for the best beaches and resorts. Me and my family actually spends a lot of time going to different places just to try the beach there. I was actually scared of going to the beach before... I don't know what happened, I just changed maybe.
6. I hate hate hate lizards. Nuff said. Just the thought makes me cringe and uuuuuggggghhhh... I just hate them. >.<
7. I don't like watching song covers of people in the internet, particularly You Tube. To tell you the truth, I get really really jealous of them cause they are so amazing. That's why in order for me not to get insecure and feel bad about myself, I just try to not watch them. But to everyone out there that has a cover in You Tube. I applaud you! You are awesome. I just don't want to watch you sing.
8. I don't like talking to professors. It's not really my thing.This is probably because of an incident I had with a teacher... actually two teachers but whatever. I only talk to them when I need something or I am required to answer. I don't even like having eye contact with them. But you wanna know a secret? I want to be a teacher. How ironic and twisted is that?
9. I am observant. I can observe even the smallest of things. I have the record of finding hair in our food. It's disgusting I know, but yeah. Those things happen so stop being so "maarte".
10. I am an introvert. It's funny because I never knew that I was. I just realized when someone pointed it out to me. I am not a full pledge introvert though (cause that would be social suicide). I am the kind of person who prefers being at home than going out. But don't judge me yet, I like going out it's just that home is safer.
So did you read everything? That's not even the whole thing. I wanted to write everything but it's gonna be a long post so I just chose the top 10... well not really top but you get it.
If you want to know more just ask me anything, I'll try to answer them. Anyways I hope you read more of my posts. Till then. Ciao! :)
February 16, 2013
I did it! I finally did it!
Finally! After probably a decade(its exaggerated but what the heck) of contemplating if I should make a blog, I finally had the chance to do it! Yay for me!! snap snap snap snap! haha. anyways whoever reads this I just want to say, thank you in advance for... well reading my blog (duh) and right now I just want to say this as a warning... Please please please don't mind me being frank here. The purpose of this blog is for me to be able to say things that I couldn't say to people. Yes I am an introvert. It's hard to believe though but yeah that's me. So just put up with whatever randomness I put here.
Also, special thanks to my friend Dine for finally giving an end to my weird battle with myself. She actually didn't say anything but her blog gave me the reason to do it so... THANK YOU SO MUCH GERRY!!! haha! follow her blog too. ciao!
http://dincatwist.blogspot.com/
Also, special thanks to my friend Dine for finally giving an end to my weird battle with myself. She actually didn't say anything but her blog gave me the reason to do it so... THANK YOU SO MUCH GERRY!!! haha! follow her blog too. ciao!
http://dincatwist.blogspot.com/
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